Proceeding with Caution

I have always been one to proceed with caution when it comes to certain things in life. But most of all when it comes to men. I don't know why I am this way to be honest with you. I have absolutely no clue as how I got to be this up tight especially after some of things that I have done over the years.

I guess it is that fear of judgement thing. Because someone is always going to judge you for what you do or don't do and for what you say or don't say. It is not fair but that is the way that society works unfortunately.

So I met this new guy, well not physically met yet but we are going to the next time he is in town and I can't say that I don't want to get physical with him because in the back of my mind I know that I do but that whole fear of judgement thing comes into play. Like will he think I am some type of hoe or groupie and that I do things like that all the time. I don't, this would be the first time if it happens that anything like this would have ever happened to me. It all falls into the line of thinking that I am going to really start living my life since I turned 29 which was a few days ago and I just want to have some fun. I am not looking for any one thing in particular to happen with this guy because one he lives in another state and two of what he does. I am not knocking what he does because it sounds exciting and fun but hey it is what at it is at this point.

There are so many things that I want to ask him because I am just a naturally inquisitive person and I am curious. But I have a tendency and I know this about myself to come off way to strong and then people can't handle it or me.

But he said that he didn't think that I liked flimsy men so he should be able to handle any questions that I have right? Well we shall see. Because like I said before my days of living in a box are over. I want to experience life with freedom and less fear of the unknown.

The worst thing that a person can do is tell me no. And it is not like people haven't been telling me no all my life. Especially men that I am interested in and I contacted him so I guess how does that really make me look? I didn't even think about that until this very moment that maybe he already sees me in a certain light because of how the initial contact was made. I am cool with it though.

You only live life once so why not do it big and do it right while you can.

Have some fun.

Until next time......

Peace & Many Blessings.

Hey maybe he will read this, who knows. LOL