Living The Single Life

I don't even know how to start this post..... let me see.....

My last relationship lasted for over 3 years almost to the day. I was so at the point to where I thought I could settle despite the major life choices that I was willing to completely ignore because I loved him. It wasn't until the end that I realized that I wasn't going to stop being me and he wasn't going to stop being him, which wasn't a bad thing but it wouldn't have lasted too much longer because we both want very different things in life. And though he is a really good friend to me and I to him I knew that I was going to have to cut communication if I was ever going to be able to move on and get over him. Since Father's Day was last Sunday, I decided probably against my better judgement to send him a happy father's day text along to all of my other people that were in my phone that have children (his son turned 2 this month and yet I have no kids, just keep that in mind as the story goes on). So that one simple text message turned into about a 2 hour text conversation about why we have stopped talking and how shady of a person I am because of how I stopped communication. Excuse me for trying to look out for myself first, and know that if I continue to speak with him, that I will never fully be able to get over him. In the end he asked me when I was going to come and see him. My answer was that I would think about it, which he knows me well enough to know that I am not going to go over there.

So this situation has left me back to being 100% single and ready to mingle, but that is a part of my problem. I am not ready yo mingle. Every time I go out I attract all of these men that I am not interested in because they don't meet my standards. I am picky and I know it. The first being physical because when you are really honest with yourself, that is the first thing that you notice about someone is the physical. I don't date people that are the same height as me, I just don't that is my preference and there are a lot of reasons behind it. 5"11 is the shortest that I will go and that is pushing it. And please don't lie about it because I can tell.

If you have ever seen "Something New" with Sanaa Lathan, I kinda feel like her character, Kenya McQueen when it comes to the type of people that I think are worth my time. I have a list. I have standards, everyone should. Another part of my problem is that I am always attracted to men that are not necessarily attracted to me. I have the "friend complex" as I like to call it, when guys tell you that they only think of you are a friend. It is something that I am used to so it doesn't bother me anymore. But I am very guarded, because I refuse to let my heart get broken again.

Recently I have spent time with a few different couples that are my friends, some family and they are SO sugar sweet happy that it is sickening, but I look forward to the day that is me. Doesn't make any sense I know. Don't get me wrong I have my days when I really do love being single, because the only person that I have to worry about is me, but on the flip side of that coin, I look forward to the days when I have someone else to worry about as well. When you go from having a companion for 3 years, someone that has your back, that you can talk to about everything, someone that you are sharing your life with even if it isn't on a permanent basis, because that what your relationship is, sharing your life with someone married or not. It is a difficult transition. But I can't settle for someone that is not going to make me happy, because even though I knew towards the end that my ex and I weren't going to be 4ever, we still had something, a connection, a bond. That is something that can't be forced it just happens.

So until it just happens again I will be satisfied living the single life.

Minding Your Own Business

I am the type of person that there are a lot of people feel like they need to tell me all of their business. Why, I haven't the slightest idea. It could be the fact that I am a very nice person, or maybe it's my warm and inviting personality, I don't know. But some times, just some times, I really don't care to hear it. You don't want to know my opinion so why are you talking to me and asking me what you should do? I am going to be honest with you and tell you what I think about whatever the situation is, and if you don't want to hear the truth I am the wrong person that you want to speak with.

I have always given sound advice whether you like it or not, is up to you, but take it for what it is. ADVICE. You ask. I will answer. People that know me know where I stand about certain things that I hold in high regard, like for example, cheating. I don't believe in it. I have never done it, and I don't ever plan on it. So please don't come crying to me because you found out that your man/woman cheated on after you cheated on them first and they found out about it. Please believe that I will not care. What goes around comes around in that regard in my book.

At times I really think that I know way too much information about way too many people and their families and their boyfriends/girlfriends. But on the other side of that coin there are a few people that know just as much information about me. So what does that tell you? We all need someone to know some of our business so it is damn near impossible to keep everything to ourselves. But we all should have at least a few skeletons that go with us to the grave.

My very first blog

So starting my own blog has been something that I have been thinking about doing for a while now. I have so much going on and so many things that are constantly on my mind that I feel like sharing with random people. At times it is harder for me to go to the people that I know and that know me well because I already know what they are going to say in response to whatever the situation might be. Very random I know but it is very true. Think about it the next time you go to someone that you know and care about and that knows you and cares about you and they are going to say what you think that are going to say 9 times out of 10.

Just a random thought that just happen to come across my mind right at this moment. There are a lot of things that I need to get done and to get them done in a hurry. I feel like my life is depending on it right at this moment, like I might stop breathing sometime soon if i don't get out of my current situation and on to a better. Please don't take that as me being suicidal or anything just getting some things off my mind is all, trying to clear out the clutter. As I blog more you will be able to get a better idea of who I am as a person and better yet who I am trying to become as a woman. But I think that I have said enough for today. I'll be back soon, so until next time.....